Your Circle Matters

Daniel ThomasLead Pastor
June 8, 2026

5 Minute Read

Have you ever noticed how quickly you pick up the habits, phrases, or even the subtle attitude of the people you spend the most time with? You spend a weekend with a friend from New York or the West Coast, and suddenly you’re walking at double-speed and calling everything "so aesthetic." You hang around a coworker who constantly complains, and before you know it, you’re finding the cloud in every silver lining.

There’s actually a scientific name for this: behavioral contagion. It’s the subconscious reality that we quietly copy the habits, speech patterns, and mindsets of our social circle.

The late rapper Nipsey Hussle famously put it this way:

"If you look at the people in your circle and you don't get inspired, you don't have a circle. You have a cage."

We are the sum average of the people we keep closest. And thousands of years before sociology gave this a name, a group of powerful religious leaders in Jerusalem got a front-row seat to this exact phenomenon.

The Country Bumpkins and the Council

In the book of Acts, chapters 3 and 4, Peter and John walk into the temple around 3:00 in the afternoon. They encounter a man who had been unable to walk for over 40 years, begging at the gate. Peter looks at him and says, "I don't have silver or gold, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk."

Instantly, the man’s feet and ankles are strengthened. He doesn't just hobble up; he starts leaping, dancing, and praising God. A massive crowd gathers, totally amazed, and Peter boldly uses the moment to preach the gospel.

Naturally, this ruffles the feathers of the religious elite (the Sadducees), who arrest them. The next morning, Peter and John are brought before the high council to explain themselves.

And that brings us to Acts 4:13, a verse that changes everything:

"The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus."

The council looked at these two men and essentially saw "country bumpkins" or "rednecks"—uneducated fishermen with thick Galilean accents. They weren't theologians. They didn't have fancy degrees. Yet, they spoke with an undeniable authority and courage.

The council couldn't deny the miracle because the 40-year-old healed man was standing right there beside them. So, they landed on the only logical explanation: These men had been with Jesus. They had caught His "contagion." They talked like Him, acted like Him, and carried His power.

3 Core Habits that Shape Who You Become

John Dryden once wrote, "We first make our habits, and then our habits make us." Peter wasn't born bold—in fact, he famously denied Jesus three times out of fear. But his habits, transformed by the Holy Spirit and time spent with Christ, completely remade him.

If we want people to look at our lives and recognize that we’ve "been with Jesus," we have to intentionally cultivate the same three habits Peter modeled:

1. Curating Your Circle

Peter and John chose to stay close to Jesus and His followers, even when Jesus’ teachings got incredibly difficult and others walked away. As Proverbs 13:20 warns: "Walk with the wise and become wise. Associate with fools and get in trouble." You have a choice in who you break bread with. Are the people closest to you inspiring you to grow, or are they keeping you locked in a cage?

2. Trusting God Over Your Own Logic

When God tells you to do something that defies human reasoning—like telling Israel to march around the massive walls of Jericho to bring them down—you face a choice. Will you lean on your own understanding, or will you build the habit of trusting God's Word even when it feels risky? Peter learned to trust the authority of Jesus’ name above his own limitations.

3. Repenting Instead of Making Excuses

The godly aren't people who never fail; Proverbs 24:16 says the godly may trip seven times, but they get back up. When we mess up, our human instinct is to pass the buck, just like Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent in the Garden. Peter made massive mistakes, but he owned them, repented, and got back up. True repentance is a total change of mind and heart—it’s turning around and doing things differently.

Time for a Reality Check

If the people around you—your family, coworkers, or neighbors—had to guess who you’ve been hanging out with based on your attitudes, speech, and habits, what would they conclude?

Would they see the patience, boldness, and love of Jesus? Or would they see the cynicism, gossip, and excuse-making of the world?

To break out of the cages holding us back, we need to take action:

  • Prioritize the Presence: Don't just give Jesus your leftovers at the end of a long day. Set a specific, daily time to be with Him.
  • Own Your Stuff: Stop making excuses for the bad habits you've tolerated. Don't just try to "quit" them—genuinely repent of them and turn the other way.
  • Check Your Five: Take a hard look at the five people you spend the most time with. If they aren't pushing you closer to Christ, it might be time to intentionally seek out a wiser circle.

You don't need a special title or an advanced degree to change the world around you. You just need to spend time with the One who changes you.

Next Step: Who is one person in your life whose faith and habits you admire? Reach out to them this week and invite them to grab a coffee or break bread together.

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Which single practice this week will best realign me to Jesus—confession, restitution, Scripture, silence, or community? A Simple Prayer Jesus, You are the Cornerstone—the line my life was made to follow. I confess where I’ve resisted inconvenient truth and tried to build on my preferences. Break my pride, not my life. Align my heart, habits, and hopes to You. Heal what sin has fractured. And guide me into the purpose You dreamed for me before I ever took a breath. Amen.